Remind your teen: “Lasting Change Must Start From Within You.”
Happy New Year
As the New Year approaches, and the frenzy of Christmas comes to a halt, we all take time to reflect on the past year and resolve to do better next year. It’s seems we all suffer from déjà vu. How many times are we in this same place and time, writing down resolutions in all earnestness and with all sincerity? Yet we give up on our resolutions, often in the first few months of the year.
After doing this a few times my self and reading from several gurus, I’ve realized any lasting change we want to make, must come from within. Every New Years Eve, I pray, reflect and write my hopes and resolutions for the New Year. There was one particular year that I felt so broken, that I just prayed for God’s will to be done in my life. I truly surrendered and let it all go. That was one of the best years of my life. I think that year I was most sincere. I believed for good things, and held on to that faith.
Even as I take time to reflect on the past year, and look forward to the New Year with great hope, faith and anticipation, I wish you all the following:
1. Have true faith in God, in yourself and in your teens.
You are capable of so much more than you give yourself credit for. We are our teens first role models and even as we live our lives before them, we are influencing how they will also live theirs. If you believe in them, they will achieve. They also, will do as much as you expect them to do. Dale Carnegie said “Give a man a fine reputation to live up to.”
2. Be kind to yourself.
We are often our own worst critics and enemies. We would stand up for our teens if we thought they were being mistreated. We are kind to everyone else but ourselves. Most of us parents have told ourselves lies that we’ve come to believe and accept about ourselves. Cut yourself some slack. You really are a good person. If you don’t love and appreciate yourself, how can you love your teens and friends, and expect them to love you back?
3. Have an attitude of gratitude.
“Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow”- Melody Beattie, author. A heart of gratitude makes your heart sing. It somehow gives you strength to make it through the most grueling days, and leaves fewer wrinkles to boot. Live gratitude and your teens will learn gratitude and learn to appreciate you more.
4. Rejoice Always.
Decide to be happy. There are many problems beyond your control that will come your way, no matter what you do. Don’t create more for yourself. Be happy. At least attempt to be present in the day, with your family instead of always being anxious about tomorrow. Most of the “what ifs” of life actually never happen. Learn to be happy each day. One of the coaches from Black Card Books, Marybeth Haines said, “ You have been given a brand new day, a gift of brand new experiences. Be excited.” Only then can you teach your teens to give their best every day.
5. Write the story from within and live it.
When a woman is pregnant, even though she doesn’t see the baby, she believes and knows she is eventually going to have a baby. She imagines what the baby will look like and how much she will love the baby. She reads to the baby, and talks to her and is excited and radiant every day. By the time the baby is born, she already knows the baby. She has a bond with the baby. That is how we must birth our dreams. We have to believe in the dream, without a shadow of a doubt. We must live it each day, imagine what it would feel like when it comes to pass. We will then take the necessary steps to make that dream a reality. Even when we face problems along the way, we know they are temporary and will come to pass. We find ways around, over, through or under it, if we must. By the time our goal is achieved, it is no surprise to us. We birthed it. We knew without a shadow of a doubt, that it was going to happen, and we were right. Sometimes it may not look exactly the way we thought, but nevertheless, we achieved the goal. Once we master this, can you imagine how we can empower our teens to excel and achieve their goals?
So as we end 2014, and start an exciting New Year, I wish all the moms and dads, guardians and grandparents out there a very prosperous, fruitful, truly blessed and happy New Year. The late Napoleon Hill in Think and Grow Rich said “Whatever your mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve.” And the Bible says, “For as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.” Henry Ford said “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you’re right.”
In 2015, let’s go for it and as J. Loren Norris says, “transform our lives, by transforming our stories.”